Homage to Friendship

I may go off the beaten track with this one, but I will talk about work also.

Today I was struck with the number of times this week I felt an overwhelming gratitude for the wonderful people that I work with. I caught myself saying for the fourth time: "I think you are amazing, and I am so happy to have you part of my life". My work peeps are an awesome bunch of people. From the freaky, sweaty ward clerk, to the hot Asian nurse, we are this ridiculous unit of people who make it work so right, even when it goes terribly wrong. We are this group who, like a family, is forced to see each other 40+ hours a week and work as a combined force. I learn everyday from them, and I truly appreciate all that they have to offer. Even when they drive me crazy and I am ready to scream "back the fuck off!". They are there for me, and I know they know that I will back them up till the bitter, bloody, sometimes twitching end. I don't cry at work unless I am with families, but I have never laughed so hard, as I do when I am at work. Even the residents, for all of their aloofness, are part of this revolving group.

I see the residents through the years, starting out and then really being actually smart, I grow to love them.

In my "real" life away from work, I am equally blessed. The best of friends from when I was five years old, to ones I have seen every Monday for almost three years. My husband, soulmates, unconditional confidants, sounding boards. There are more loves than I can name, but you know who you are. I am surrounded with this amazing support, and I don't know why I deserve it. As an awkward middle schooler with poor self-esteem, an emotionally mutilated family, and confused set of values, I have come to find that I am strong now, and most of that is because of the people who have helped to build me up.

I am still totally confused. I question my sanity daily. I don't know how I deal with these really sick people, giving them questionable hope. Holding daughters of men who have just passed, as I gave them the morphine relief to let their souls float away. I have had great loss myself. My sister, father, all my grandparents are gone. I have a a crazy mother, a fractured family, and yet I persevere. So this is my time to say: thank the goddess for all the love that I have, because I know that I would be nothing without it.